Mind of a Mad Woman

Forgive me readers for I have sinned, It has been 12 days since my last entry. I repent and throw myself down in search of mercy. Hahaha.

Yeah, ok. It has been some time, things have been rather difficult for me lately both in my weightloss journey and in my personal life. But I feel like things are slowly getting back on track. My doctor has me back on Synthroid to control my underactive thyroid and that should help with the weight issue, and iron supplements too as I seem to rather anemic. Go figure…sure explains some of my exhaustion.Â
I have also felt myself slipping back further and further into the darkness that I have come to know as my depression. I have dealt with this on and off since I was 17, after a rather traumatic experience in my life, and everytime I feel better and come off medication, it lasts a short time before I feel awful again. As such, I find myself back on my medication again.Â

Celexa SUCKS. I have no idea yet whether it is helping the depression, but it sure is making me feel crappy. I am exhausted, have MAJOR nausea for most of the day and seem to have a problem with dry mouth. The advantage of the dry mouth of course is that I have a water bottle permanently attached to me these days, and we all know the virtues of water right? If you don’t, you’ve been clearly living under a rock and I invite you to join the real world. One of the other lovely side effects seems to be loss of appetite which is fantastic…sort of. Last time, I gained weight…this time, not so much. I am trying to make sure I eat enough, but its very hard.

I have not been to the gym in about 2 1/2 weeks, and I’m really feeling it. I have been walking, because it allows me to think in the peacefulness of my own head.Â

Here’s my weight tracking since New Year’s…..

Jan 1/08 - 355
Jan 7/08 - 350
Jan 14/08 - 342.4
Jan 21/08 - 336.4
Jan 28/08 - 337.4
Feb 4/08 - 337.6
Feb 11/08 - 336.2
Feb 18/08 - 332.8
Feb 25/08 - 330.425 lbs in 2 months is good for me :)Â

I am trying desperately to stay on track, and while it’s been hard, I am incredibly thankful to have the support of Hotty Hubby and my friends.

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It has come to my attention today that the powers that be in the Mississippi Legislature are currently looking into a law that will prevent restaurants from serving food to overweight people. This is so incredibly outrageous and shocking that I had to write about it here. It is pure and simple discrimination and I am amazed that anyone would even consider something like this. What goes through the minds of these people as they are sitting there drafting a potential law like this?Â

Here’s a little glimpse for you:

MISSISSIPPI LEGISLATURE
2008 Regular Session
To: Public Health and Human Services; Judiciary B
By: Representative Mayhall, Read, Shows
House Bill 282

I have not as yet been able to determine WHY this angers me as much as it does - because as an overweight person this is a law that has the potential, if accepted in one place, to spread across North America and affect so many people or because I feel awful for the people it will affect, though I know none of them or because I cannot imagine what employee in a restaurant (fast food joint or otherwise) would want to look someone in the eye and say “I’m sorry but we cannot serve you - you’re fat”.Â

I have seen many ridiculous things come out of politics in countries the world over. I have also seen many good things. But this, well this just takes the cake (no pun intended) for the most idiotic, bigoted thing that I have seen come out of the United States in a very long time.

With every fiber in my being, I hope that this law never passes.

Isn’t it funny how when we don’t have the same motivations in place, we lose track of our goals temporarily and it becomes harder to recover each time?Â

Fit club finished a week ago for me. I went in and got weighed & measured, and was pleased with my results. 17 lbs and 12 inches is no laughing matter. I have no idea if I won or not, I’m still hoping for that. But with the end of the Fit Club, came the end of my excellent eating “habits” and I’m finding it hard to recover from that.

I hope to be as honest with myself as I am with all of you, and in so doing I am finding that I need to retrained in so many ways. Over the last week, I have gone from eating grilled chicken, lots of salad, and doing lots of exercise to having some pizza, some chocolate, some POP!!!, and not going to the gym.Â

Now, granted, I haven’t been very well over the last week - not well at all….but that right there should have been enough to remind me of WHY I should be eating well. What good does the junky stuff do my body? It certainly doesn’t help me get better does it?Â

As I sat here tonight looking through my food diary, I was horrified to see what a difference there was between the two weeks. To be fair, I haven’t been toooo bad, but there is certainly room for much improvement. My scale is showing I am still down…but that is MY scale and there is a difference between mine and the Weight Watchers one.Â

I’m hoping to take the kids to the school tomorrow on their Pro D Day so that we can play soccer and take a walk up Christmas Hill - get some exercise. We’ll see.

I suck at this…….royally suck.

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I missed giving you all a laugh on Hump Day, so I’m settling for a flashback to my past for Tired Thursday.

 Back in 2006, I was so mightily ticked off by this occurence that I felt the need to write in to the blog of AJ & Crash from Jack FMs morning show and express myself. Recent events have brought it to the forefront of my mind again, so I am sharing with you what I wrote back then.

 Yes, I am still that cynical and outspoken. And I am proud of it. Foto Friday tomorrow.

 So how stupid are WE?? And by we, I mean, humans as a whole.I’m sitting in the car the other night and the radio’s playin (thankfully not my beloved JACK FM) ….some crap song, and then this chick comes and is all like “So, I just got a call from a guy and we wanna warn you that there’s a road block at …..” .Ok, so maybe it’s just me, but how incredibly freaking stupid are we to ALLOW this? Yeah ok, it’s annoying as all heck to go through a roadblock..

Missing : 17 pounds and 12 inches

Last seen spread across the ass, belly and boobs on Meg. Seem to have disappeared, and would like to make sure they are gone for good. No reward. If seen, please make sure they are locked up somewhere as secure as Alcatraz was in the good ol’ days.

Yes, I’m very pleased with these results since New Years Day. If I can keep going on this tack, I will be overjoyed by this time next year. A svelte new Meg.

WOoOOooOOOO

Caleb, flicking through Alphabet book: “Â A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K - Elluh”

 “Mommy, where’s the Menno?”

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Caleb: “The Menno….H-I-J-K-Elluh-Menno-P”

Me: “Ahhh sorry, I’ll make sure to bring it next time”